


can i have your number?

by rencerspeid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, M/M, college life au, fuck if i know what i'm doing, slight angst, slight daisuga, the only ship that matters tbqh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rencerspeid/pseuds/rencerspeid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama wasn’t really one for things like “fate” or “destiny” or any of that mumbo jumbo. He did believe that everything happened for a reason, but the idea that he couldn’t control his own future angered him and, frankly, scared him, although he would never admit it.<br/>But for some reason he felt drawn to the almost unreadable numbers, like he was supposed to find it or something, and before he knew what he was doing he was shoving the note into his pocket and walking hurriedly out of the revolving door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I can have fun if I want to

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is my very first story on this site and also my first Haikyuu story, so please be gentle  
> Sorry if I stray from their characters a little bit, I'm trying to stay as true to them as possible!

School had been getting difficult lately. Final exams were coming up and, after seeing the big fat 60 at the top of his last test, Kageyama knew he needed all the help he could get. His fingers skipped from spine to spine, eyes searching desperately for the number the librarian wrote down for him. His arm was getting tired from carrying two other unreasonably thick books he couldn’t fit into his bag, annoyance starting to kick in until he finally found it.

“This better be worth the trouble..” he mumbled to himself, setting the other books down on a nearby table as quietly as he possibly could. Luckily, this book was lighter than the others and would fit snugly in his satchel, the samurai on the cover clutching a long katana under the words “The Edo Period: Japan Flourishes.” He flipped open the cover, grabbing a pen out of his pocket to sign his name onto the check-out card, when a small scrap of paper slipped out of the book and onto the ground.

He bent down, squinting in an attempt to read the lazily scrawled out handwriting.

“03-9821-7830”

A phone number? What was a phone number doing in a library book?

Now, Kageyama wasn’t really one for things like “fate” or “destiny” or any of that mumbo jumbo. He did believe that everything happened for a reason, but the idea that he couldn’t control his own future angered him and, frankly, scared him, although he would never admit it. He liked to think that no one–not the gods or the spirits or the earth or whatever–could change the course of his life but him. But for some reason he felt drawn to the almost unreadable numbers, like he was supposed to find it or something, and before he knew what he was doing he was shoving the note into his pocket and walking hurriedly out of the revolving door.

 

* * *

 

  

“God fucking damn it!”

In the middle of what looked like the aftermath of a small tornado–books sprawled across the floor, glittered with post-it notes and chip crumbs along with the occasional uncapped highlighter–Kageyama sat at a small table, face currently plastered against the smooth surface after an aggravated head-desking. He wouldn’t say that he hated history, that would be a little too strong. It’s more like it just didn’t sit well with him, sort of like milk that’s been sitting out all morning or the chocolate you find at the bottom of your bag. The dates never stuck and the names were always so confusing, always getting jumbled up in his head just when he thought he knew what was going on; he couldn’t believe some people actually did this kind of thing as, like, a job.

“Oh come on, Kageyama. It’s not that bad!” Asahi said, shoving Kageyama playfully with his foot. Unlike Kageyama, the brunette was naturally gifted, only really needing to see something once before he was able to commit it to memory. Studying was a foreign activity to him, much to Kageyama’s dismay, so he usually spent their Saturday night study sessions reading a novel or playing on his DS. That day he had decided on the former, legs hanging off the end of the other boy’s bed as he flipped from page to page.

“Easy for you to say, nerd. You’ve never had to study a day in your life while here I am, wasting away, drowning in a sea of boring ass textbooks and unhelpful notes.”

He ignored Asahi’s amused snort, his head still resting against the tabletop, and reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone when he felt something crinkling against his fingers. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t completely forgotten about the phone number he found earlier that day, his head having been filled with both anxiety and anger at the thought of the approaching testing days. Finally leaning back against his bed, he holds the paper up to the light, feeling the weight shift behind him until Asahi’s head is peering over his shoulder.

“Finally get someone’s number?”

“Fuck off.”

Asahi chuckled, hitting the other boy over the head with his book hard enough to make an audible thunk noise. The two had been friends long enough to understand the other’s humor despite Asahi’s being older than Kageyama by two years. Elementary school turned into middle school, middle school into high school, and now they were roommates attending the same college, Asahi in his third year and Kageyama in his first.

“No but really, who’s number is that?”

“Dunno, found it in one of the library books I checked out earlier today.”

“Maybe we should call it.”

The younger boy turned his head, looking at the other in disbelief, trying to find some sign that he was joking.

“You can’t be serious,” he said after searching to no avail, “what if it’s some axe murderer trying to lure in some curious prey or some shit like that.”

“First off, how would getting someone to call you make it any easier to kill them? And second, when was the last time you did anything fun, huh?”

By that time, Asahi had turned his attention back to the book in his hands. He couldn’t deny what he had said; Kageyama liked to play it safe. He liked to weigh pros and cons, liked calculating exactly what he needed to do in order to bring about the desired outcome, liked to know exactly how and when things were going to happen. It made him feel safe. That didn’t mean he didn’t have fun, though. He had his fair share of acquaintances and didn’t mind tagging along to their parties, although he wasn’t one for alcohol or karaoke or any combination of the two. He had a part-time job at an ice cream shop, despite his repulsion to sweets, and never shied away from small talk with colleagues or with customers.  He was plenty fun.

 

* * *

 

 

Maybe it was what Asahi had said or maybe it was the same feeling he had when he first saw the note, but, after the other had left to his own room and before he knew what his fingers were doing, he had already punched the numbers into his phone, the screen illuminating the otherwise dark room.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” Kageyama said to himself.

 

_Click._

 

 


	2. Chocolate Banana Split

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday nights were usually slow, so he had a lot of time to think; think about college, what he wanted for dinner, his future. And so it was no surprise that, while lost in one of his moments, he didn't notice the bell of the door ring until he heard a familiar high-pitched voice rip through his thoughts.
> 
> "Pleasepleasepleaseplease buy me ice cream! Tanaka-senpai!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you guys for your kudos and hits, it means a lot to me!  
> I'm not really good at chaptered fics, since I can never finish anything, but I plan to update this at least once a day so hopefully that goal keeps me on track.  
> I only sort of have a series of events in mind, so feel free to leave a comment of something you would like to see happen in the future!

The dial tone was deafening. Why the fuck was he doing this in the first place? That's right, because Azumane decided to call him boring and he wanted to prove him wrong, even if it was only to himself. The phone was warm against his ear and he could just imagine the person on the other line now. _Who is this and why are you calling me in the middle of the night you moron._  


He wanted to hang up so badly, to flip his phone closed and just end the entire thing before it even started and before he embarrassed himself in front of someone he didn't know just to prove a point. This was stupid, he was stupid, so he should just hang up and-  


"Helloooo?"  


His entire body froze at the sound of someone else's voice, his cheeks bright enough to light up the entire room.  


"Wait actually hold up a second- Tanaka, you bastard, can you shut up? I'm on the phone and I can't concentrate with you fucking _screaming_ in the background!"  


Kageyama didn't really know what he was expecting but it definitely wasn't this.  


"Sorry, my roommate is an idiot and won't stop _yelling at his computer screen_. Anyway, sorry wait, who is this again? Did you say that already? God I swear my memory's been going to shit these days you wouldn't believe."  


Kageyama listened to the other boy, practically having to hold the receiver an inch from his ear to prevent permanent hearing loss, trying to think of a reasonable explanation to how he had gotten the number and why he was calling at 11 pm, but all he could muster was a sad ".. blurgh."  


"Huh? What was that?"  


"Uh, sorry wrong number gotta go sorry bye."  


The snap of his phone echoed throughout the room. He couldn't believe that actually happened, that he had actually gotten so nervous he failed at even speaking properly. Kageyama had never felt like such an idiot in his entire life, but he couldn't say he wasn't glad it was over. The phone landed on the ground as it slipped from his dangling hand, face buried into his pillow as he lay on his stomach in bed, trying to forget that anything had happened in the first place.  


He let out an exasperated sigh muffled by his pillow before he let himself drift off, slowly and then all at once.  


* * *

 

Life continued normally after that. Obviously he decided not to tell anyone about the incident, not even his roommate, and everything had gone back to being "boring." He went to school every morning and to work every afternoon, and for the next month everything seemed to go back to its usual rhythm.

It was his turn to close up shop that night, which he didn't really mind at all. The ice cream shop was small, quaint even, the rustic style chairs and authentic wood paneled walls giving the whole shop that vintage feel he loved. Wednesday nights were usually slow, so he had a lot of time to think; think about college, what he wanted for dinner, his future. And so it was no surprise that, while lost in one of his moments, he didn't notice the bell of the door ring until he heard a familiar high-pitched voice rip through his thoughts.  


"Pleasepleasepleaseplease buy me ice cream! Tanaka-senpai!"  


Kageyama felt his entire body freeze at the familiar sound and name.  


"HAHAHA, you know I can't say no to my adoring kouhai!"  


He definitely could have been dreaming. This whole thing could be just a figment of his imagination, a result of a lack of sleep or maybe all the spicy foods he's been eating lately.  


Kageyama walks out of the break room slowly, as if the more time he spent in there would make the terrible nightmare he was having go away, and emerges to a ball of orange energy bouncing in front of the shop counter. He isn’t particularly fond of the screaming, but he had already gotten into trouble once for being rude to a customer (although the asshole deserved it), so he tried his best to force a smile when he finally gets to the cash register.  


“Good evening and welcome, what can I get for you?”  


He already knows he’s fucked up when the words leave his mouth, his attempt to mask his voice in fear of being recognized ending up sounding like he’s spent the last 2 hours screaming nonstop. The two other boys give him a strange look before looking back down at the colorful display of flavors, the shorter one’s nose pressed flush against the glass.  


“There’s so many to choose from, I don’t even know where to start!”

Kageyama wasn’t exactly the most observant person ever, but he knew this guy had to be at least as old as him. Despite his petite stature, the orange haired boy had a sense of poise about him that you only really acquire after high school. He was dressed in khaki shorts that ended around his knees, along with a white V-neck and gray cardigan: the classic “college kid on a lazy day” outfit. So it puzzled Kageyama that the other was so enthusiastic about some ice cream. I mean, he could always buy his own whenever he wanted. He wasn’t a little kid who needed his mother’s permission before eating anything sweet, who needed to ask dad for money and stuttered out of nervousness when talking to the cashier. He was pulled out of his trance once again by the sound of the other’s voice.  


“What do you suggest?”

  
Oh shit, not this question. Not now.  


“Oh, uh, I don’t really like sweets so I wouldn’t really know,” Kageyama finally got out after clearing his throat, worried that he would make the same noise as before.  


The smaller boy’s face instantly dropped into a frown, and for some reason Kageyama couldn’t stand the idea that he had disappointed the other.  


“Um, but I hear the Chocolate Banana Split flavor is really good. It just came in this month and it’s already one of our top sellers.”  


At that, the orange haired boy’s face lit up and Kageyama felt oddly relieved.

  
“Sounds good, I’ll take that!”

 

 

They sat in the shop for a while, eating their ice cream and occasionally screaming at each other over something Kageyama knew was probably stupid. If there was anything he hated the most, it was screaming. Concerts and music festivals were a big nono, and even parks were hard to stand on a busy day. But in a combination of embarrassment and regret, he kept quiet the whole time, trying his best to concentrate on the content of their conversation rather than the volume.  


The taller of the two was definitely older, though still almost as childish as the other. His hair was cut tight to his head and he had visible scruff around his chin and down the front of his neck while the other still looked as hairless as a baby. He opted for jeans and a printed T-shirt, the design referencing some band Kageyama had never heard of, though he must admit he doesn’t know very many bands at all.  


From the snippets he caught while he pretended to clean the windows, he realized that they were incapable of staying on topic and eventually gave up trying to keep up with anything they were saying. About half an hour later, the two were exiting the shop (much to Kageyama’s pleasure) and he was alone again at last.  


The reprieve lasted all of about 20 seconds when he heard the bell ring again, but to his surprise it was the same orange haired ball of energy. This time, he ran straight up to the counter and held out his hand, revealing a small piece of hard candy wrapped in colorful paper.  


“Here,” he said, motioning for the other to take it, “it’ll help with that sore throat of yours!”  


Wordlessly, Kageyama held out his hand, still not sure if this was really happening, and stared at the candy for a second before looking back up at the boy sporting the biggest grin he had ever seen in his life.  


“Take care of yourself! See you around!”  


He turned and waved before running back out of the door, a distant “Oi, Hinata!” ringing through the shop followed by quick, breathless apologies.  


Kageyama looked down at the candy and smiled.  


_What a weird guy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the story is starting off kind of slow, I feel like Kageyama wouldn't be one to rush into a relationship or anything haha.  
> Thanks for reading! Another chapter might be up before the end of the day, who knows?!


	3. Just take it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waving good bye to a little boy as he walks out of the door, hand-in-hand with his mother, the shop is completely empty again and Kageyama takes this opportunity to read a few chapters of the newest issue of his favorite manga. It’s not long until the bell rings and he’s getting up from the sofa, tying the apron around his waist while yelling “I’ll be right there!” from the break room. His heart nearly stops in his chest when he’s confronted by not one, but two balls of orange puff, one sitting on the shoulders of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow another chapter? I'm on a roll today haha~  
> Just more fluff and build up.  
> Thank you again to those who left kudos! You guys make my day!

After some detective work, Kageyama finds out a few things about Hinata.

First, he finds out that his full name is Hinata Shouyou and that he’s a freshman at Kageyama’s college. He also finds out that him and his roommate Tanaka, who turns out to be in his second year, live in an apartment complex not too far from campus after he “accidentally” follows them from a reasonable distance all the way from one side of the quad to the other and sees them walk into a tall, gray building just out of sight. It’s not that he wants to see them every day now, they hadn’t been anything but annoying the first (and only) time he met them other than Hinata’s peace offering, but he really couldn’t do anything about it. They went to the same school and, now that he’s aware of their existence, he sees them just about everywhere.  
  


He would be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in Hinata, though. It’s not often that a stranger does something nice for you, and Kageyama felt sort of indebted to him, even though he was annoying as hell. The boy was strange and rambunctious and everything Kageyama hated, but he had gone out of his way to help him and Kageyama couldn’t ignore that. But as finals week drew closer and closer, Hinata was pushed further and further to the back of his mind.  
  


Luckily, all the late night study sessions had done their job and Kageyama silently basked in the glory of straight A’s for the first time in his life, earning himself a pat on the back from Asahi. The long awaited summer break had finally arrived and he was more than ready to spend the majority of his days reading, jogging, and sleeping.  
  


About a week into break, he gets called into the shop on one of his off days, the manager explaining that “my regular just had a sports related injury so can you please come in today?” and repeating “I’m so sorry to disturb you on your day off, but I could really use the help!” Kageyama didn’t mind, he didn’t have anything really going on anyway, other than the fact that he had already settled in with a few volumes of manga and his favorite shrimp-flavored chips. Thirty minutes after he received the call, he’s standing behind the all-too-familiar counter, thanking the universe that it was a Thursday afternoon and slow as all molasses.  
  


After waving good bye to a little boy as he walks out of the door, hand-in-hand with his mother, the shop is completely empty again and Kageyama takes this opportunity to read a few chapters of the newest issue of his favorite manga. It’s not long until the bell rings and he’s getting up from the sofa, tying the apron around his waist while yelling “I’ll be right there!”  from the break room. His heart nearly stops in his chest when he’s confronted by not one, but two balls of orange puff, one sitting on the shoulders of the other.  
  


“Shou, can I please get an ice cream cone? I haven’t had ice cream in forever!” the smaller one says, head resting on top of the others.  
  


“Are you sure about that? Because I remember a certain someone munching on a fruit pop last night and dripping it onto my carpet. Maybe if I tell Tanaka he’ll be able to jog your memory?”  
  


To this, the little one stiffens straight up, the faintest hint of tears welling up at the corner of her eyes. Hinata lets out a hearty laugh.  
  


“Haha, don’t worry Natsu, I was just joking! Now, what flavor do you want?”  
  


The entire scene was foreign to Kageyama. He had never had siblings, and most of his cousins were the same age as him, so children were sort of an enigma to him. What was even more surprising, though, was the way the other boy was acting. Maybe it was something about being in the presence of a child, but the loud, annoying Hinata was suddenly swapped out for a new demure, almost mature one.  
  


Natsu, whom he assumed was Hinata’s little sister, had dismounted her older brother and was now perusing the ice cream flavor selection. Kageyama bit back laughter as he watched the little girl press her nose against the glass, reminding him of a certain someone not too long ago. He chose the chocolate banana split once again while his sister finally settled on strawberry in a waffle cone and, after saying her thanks to Kageyama, she skipped happily to the table closest to the counter.  
  


Hinata looked after her with the same, ear to ear grin he had given Kageyama before, and the taller boy felt his breath catch in his throat. Before he had the chance to rationalize the skip in his heartbeat, the other boy was looking at him expectantly.  
  


“I’m sorry?” Kageyama said. It took him a minute to realize that Hinata had actually said something to him while he was lost in his own head.  
  


“I asked how your throat was doing? It was hurting you the last time, right?”  
  


A slight blush crept up into Kageyama’s cheeks as he remembered the incident, only darkening as he remembered the phone call that had seemed like ages ago.  
  


“Oh yeah, it’s fine now. Thanks.”  
  


“That’s great! So, what’s the damage on the ice cream cones?”  
  


Kageyama rang him up and told him the total, but something about the look in Hinata’s face when he opened his wallet told him that he wasn’t expecting it to be as much as it was. The look of realization shifted to one of worry, his forehead wrinkling up and mouth pursing, and then from worry to embarrassment as he tried to think of something to say to the cashier. It was at that moment that Kageyama decided that the look didn’t really fit the usually energetic boy, so he mumbled something beneath his breath at the boy and pushed the cone in his direction.  
  


“What?” Hinata said after a minute of looking at the cone incredulously.  
  


“Take it. Don’t worry about paying or whatever.”  
  


Kageyama tried to look everywhere but at Hinata, face flushed and thinking _was it getting hot in here? or is it just me?_  
  


He couldn’t help himself, looking up through his bangs at the other boy and was shocked by the enormous smile that took up more than half of his face, taking the cone from Kageyama’s hand and bowing almost 90 degrees.  
  


“Thank you very very very much!”  
  


He watches as Hinata walks over to the little girl and hoist her up onto his shoulders, holding onto her legs with one hand and his cone in the other, and head toward the exit.  
  


“I’ll be back soon!” he says, waving and grinning like a total idiot.  
  


“..Dumbass,” Kageyama whispers to himself as he watches them cross the street.  
  
  


He couldn’t help but smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No promises, but it's super possible that another chapter goes up today because I'm super into it haha~  
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Shrimps chips are good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He also wouldn’t say that he had a crush on Hinata. I mean, he’s pretty sure the other boy didn’t know his name and also didn’t know that Kageyama knew his name, so it was safe to say that they were practically strangers at this point. But he would admit that he was fond of the other, that he thought about him at least once a day, which is more than he should think about someone he’d never had a conversation with before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another chapter? That's right, folks!  
> Three chapters in a row is a record for me, but I'm really feeling the flow of the story right now so I couldn't help myself.  
> More incredibly fluffy fluff.

Kageyama is surprised to find himself searching for the other boy the next day, his heart jumping every time the door to the shop opens and then sinking when he realizes it isn’t Hinata. Despite his disappointment, he’s still able to manage the smallest of smiles, always making sure to look happy when serving customers in fear of getting another scolding from his boss. Sugawara may look sweet, but crossing him was not something he would ever do again.  
  


The day passed by as uneventfully as any other, his feet and shins aching by the time 7 pm finally rolled around. He flipped the “Yes, We’re Open” sign over and began sweeping the floors and wiping down the tables, the setting sun filtering in through the glass door and reflecting off of the newly cleaned counter tops. The silence meant his mind could finally wander, and nowadays when his mind tended to wander, it ended up wandering towards the orange haired boy he still had yet to even formally meet. Kageyama wouldn’t say he was gay, but he wasn’t necessarily straight either. Girls and guys alike had come and gone, most of them never lasting more than a month before they got bored of him or vice versa. Even when he was the dumpee, he hadn’t cared enough about any of them to beg for a second chance. “Live and let die,” he always thought to himself.  
  


He also wouldn’t say that he had a crush on Hinata. I mean, he’s pretty sure the other boy didn’t know his name and also didn’t know that Kageyama knew his name, so it was safe to say that they were practically strangers at this point. But he would admit that he was fond of the other, that he thought about him at least once a day, which is more than he should think about someone he’d never had a conversation with before. Did it weird him out? Yes, immensely. It was weird that he could still perfectly picture that stupidly wide grin of his and it was weird that it made his temperature rise ten degrees and it was weird that it made his chest ache ever so slightly.  
  


So when he walked out of the storefront and turned to see said boy leaning with his back casually against the wall, he was more than surprised. The surprise must have materialized itself as a gasp, because a second later Hinata’s head snapped in his direction eyes widening before a smile graced his lips.  
  


“Hiya, stranger!” he said, dislodging himself from the wall and sauntering over toward Kageyama. “Fancy meeting you here.”  
  


“Um, you do know that I work here, right? It’s kind of expected that I would be here.”  
  


By now, Hinata was standing in front of Kageyama, snorting out a laugh before answering.

  
“I know that, duh. It’s called a joke, ever heard of that?”  
  


Fondness aside, Kageyama really didn’t like to be joked around with and the glare he was sending Hinata must have spelled that out nice and clear.  
  


“Alright, alright, no need to be so serious!” the other said, throwing his hand up in surrender. “I just wanted to return the favor.”  
  


Before Kageyama knew what was happening, there was something being shoved into his face. He grabbed whatever it was that had hit him and was about to scream at the other in protest, until he saw that Hinata had shoved in his face a bag of his favorite shrimp-flavored chips.  
  


“I remembered you said you didn’t like sweets, so this was the only thing I could think of,” he said with what looked like a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “Just take it already, jeez!”  
  


Kageyama took the chips, still looking at it skeptically, the words “thank you” unable to roll off of his tongue.  
  


“Look, I know you don’t really know me and that this whole thing is slightly creepy–I mean I haven’t been waiting out here for too long, maybe just an hour or so–but anyway, I just really wanted to say thanks for what you did the other day, because it made my little sister super happy and when she’s happy, I’m happy–wow that’s really sappy, isn’t it?–but anyway-”  
  


Kageyama held his hand out, signaling Hinata to stop because he was starting to get a headache from listening to all of this rambling even if he did find it oddly endearing.  
  


“It’s really no big deal, but thanks for the chips anyway. They’re my favorite.”  
  


At this, Hinata’s face went from embarrassed to elated as he flashed that smile that hasn’t left Kageyama’s mind for the last 24 hours, eyes closing to allow his grin to take up a majority of his face and it had to be one of the cutest things he’s ever seen before.  
  


“I’m glad! I was scared you would think I was just cheap, which I am, but still.”  
  


Kageyama had started walking toward his apartment building, knowing that Hinata would follow suit since he had found out the orange haired boy lived on the same block as him, and wasn’t surprised when the other boy continued talking.  
  


“So do you live around here too? I’ve seen you on campus a few times, but I don’t think we’ve ever had a class together. What are you majoring in? How do you not like sweets but work in an ice cream shop?”  
  


The rest of the walk home continued just like that, Hinata asking a string of disconnected questions and then going off on a tangent when Kageyama said something that triggered a memory. It was ultimately a one-sided conversation, but Kageyama didn’t really mind. He didn’t really talk to anyone other than Asahi and when he did, it was the usual “How are you?” or “Man, that test was killer!” that ended after a few minutes. He liked watching Hinata’s face as he told a story, his hands constantly in motion and eyes twinkling with every word; it was cute.  
  


It wasn’t long before they ended up in front of Hinata’s apartment complex, him still lost in the middle of one of his stories until he realized where they were.  
  


“Oh crap, this is me. Dang it, I wanted to walk you home!”  
  


“It’s fine,” Kageyama said, shrugging, “I don’t live far from here anyway so it’s not a big deal.”  
  


“Well, I guess I owe you another one then!” Hinata said before turning to enter his apartment. “See you around, Kageyama!”  
  


Kageyama waved silently as the boy disappeared behind a door, standing there for a few seconds before moving to walk toward his own complex.  
  


“See you around, Hinata.”

 

* * *

  
  
When he got home, Asahi was looking at him expectantly, as if he was waiting for some kind of explanation.  
  


“Well,” he finally said after staring at Kageyama for a minute, “where were you?”  
  


“I don’t remember you being my mother,” the younger said in annoyance, “or ever having to explain myself to you.”  
  


Anyone else would have gotten pissed at Kageyama, but Asahi had been friends with him long enough to know that that was just how he was. He sighed and let out a small laugh, running his fingers through his long hair before speaking again.  
  


“It’s just unusual for you to not come straight home after work, you know. I thought my little baby had gotten kidnapped!”  
  


“Oh fuck off,” Kageyama said, punching the older one in the arm as he walked past him and into their kitchen, “I was with a friend.”  
  


“Is that so? And who would that be?” Asahi asked, resting his head in his hands as he leaned over the counter, “The last time I checked, I was the only person who could stand you.”  
  


Kageyama looked at him in annoyance, grabbing some water from the fridge and a glass from a cabinet. Asahi wasn’t wrong, he really was the only one who could stand Kageyama. Everyone else just didn’t understand him, didn’t understand how he didn’t really like conversation or anything that involved him talking for long periods of time. He was a listener by nature. So when he thinks about Hinata and how he said that we wanted to see him soon, his stomach twisted up into knots, unfurling and furling inside of him.

  
“I met someone.”

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely the last chapter for today, my head can only take so much.  
> Thank you all so much for reading and for your kudos, it means a lot!


	5. A visit from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi’s room, on the other hand, had traces of both of them scattered about the small space. There was takeout box upon takeout box in the fridge from their constant refusal to cook, textbooks and study guides piled and forgotten on counters, even a stain on the carpet from when Suga had taken an art class and decided that it was a good idea to use the floor instead of an easel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A change in characters????  
> Sorry this change might be abrupt, but I really wanted to have a DaiSuga arc in here somewhere.  
> Hope you enjoy!

“Oh my god Sawamura, that feels so good.”  


Sugawara was practically moaning under the touch of the other man, body responding in ways he didn’t know was possible. Sweat was beginning to pool at his chin as he leaned into the big hands, wanting more.  


“How does that feel?”  


Daichi’s body was beginning to ache, muscles sore at the tedious task but he could never say no to his silver haired friend when he made that face: eyes wide in anticipation and mouth in that stupid puppy dog pout. After Suga let out a confirming groan, he decided to press even harder into him, wanting to give the other man as much pleasure as possible.  


“Yesyesyesyes.”  


He couldn’t take anymore; Suga’s head became fuzzy with pure bliss as he motioned for Daichi to stop, the other easing off of him with a hearty laugh. Suga got up from his previous position and stretched his arms out above his head as if he had just woken up from a well-deserved nap, letting out something between a yawn and a sigh before looking over at Daichi.  


“God, I forgot how amazing your massages were,” he said while flashing the biggest smile he could muster. He had had a particularly annoying day at school followed by an even more annoying day at work, so his muscles had been extra knotted. Daichi scratched the back of his head, exuding an air of modesty and slight embarrassment at the other man’s comment.  


“It’s really nothing, I’m sure you could get a better massage from a professional.”  


“Yeah, but having someone you don’t know touch you is kinda weird, isn’t it? And why would I pay for a massage when I can get an amazing one from you with just a flash of my infamous pouty face?”  


To that, Daichi laughed and punched him playfully on his arm, the other acting like it hurt by flinging himself back onto the bed upon impact. The brunette’s room had become something like a second home to him, considering how much time he spent there. His own dorm room wasn’t too far, just up the stairs and down the hall, but it didn’t make sense for him to travel the extra distance when he could just hang out in Daichi’s room all night.  


Originally he wanted to live in an apartment building, far enough from the school to have his own personal space but close enough for him to walk, but when his supposed roommate bailed on him he had to settle for the school’s housing. It wasn’t horrible–he had air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter, a working (albeit tiny) kitchenette, and a mildly lumpy mattress–but it wasn’t anything to call home about. Besides, he spent more time in Daichi’s room than he did in his own room, only running up there to shower, change, and occasionally sleep, so it was pretty much devoid of any personality.  


Daichi’s room, on the other hand, had traces of both of them scattered about the small space. There was takeout box upon takeout box in the fridge from their constant refusal to cook, textbooks and study guides piled and forgotten on counters, even a stain on the carpet from when Suga had taken an art class and decided that it was a good idea to use the floor instead of an easel.  


“What do you want for dinner? We could head over to that sushi place across from the shop that we’ve always wanted to try?”  


By then, Daichi had taken Suga’s place on his bed after the other had shifted to sit on the ground, back up against the frame.  


“Hmm, sounds fine with me. Maybe you’ll meet another cute waitress that’ll slip you her number on a napkin.”  


To that, Daichi’s face turned beet red, Suga erupting in laughter from the sight.  


“Hey, shut up, you know that didn’t end well for me.”  


“Oh stop blushing like that, I mean how were you supposed to know she was actually psycho.”  


Suga had a crush on the other man for a while now, since the end of freshman year actually, so he wasn’t really upset that it hadn’t worked out between Daichi and whatever the psycho-bitch’s name was. He couldn’t stand watching her practically hang off of his arm whenever they were together and he would never forgive her for what she did to him. Daichi was sweet and loving and amazing and definitely didn’t need that cheating wench sucking the life out of him.  


“Alright let’s roll out, lover boy.”  


* * *

 

Dinner went off without a hitch, no annoying cashiers or fawning waitresses around to ruin their evening, and with the obligatory takeout boxes in hand, they set out back toward campus, their path illuminated by only the moon and the occasional streetlamp. Suga had been laughing at something Daichi said when they saw a dark, tall figure slink out from around the corner, walking toward them with hands in their pockets.  


“Long time, no see, Sugawara,” the man said, his teasing voice laced with obvious contempt, “who’s your new friend?”  


Suga froze in his place, only moving to reach out his hand toward Daichi when the other had started to move toward the unnamed figure. Daichi held a protective arm in front of Suga, silently signaling him to stay back.  


“And who are you?”  


The man laughed as he strolled out from the darkness into the light of the streetlamp, the reflection from his glasses hiding his eyes.  


“Ooh, scary. Your new pet, I presume?”  


“Fuck off, Tsukishima,” Suga said when he finally regained the ability to speak. He could take being picked on but the minute the bastard involved Daichi, he couldn’t just stay quiet.  


“That’s quite the tongue you have there,” Tsukishima said, moving as close as he could get to Suga before Daichi shot him the death glare, “I bet throwing insults isn’t the only thing you do with it.”  


Suga clamped his hand at his sides, trying to ignore his heart racing and palms sweating. He couldn’t believe this asshole was here. After everything he had done to get away from that god forsaken town it still comes right back to bite him in the ass and he really didn’t want to deal with this right now.  


“I don’t know who you are or what business you have with Suga, but I suggest you leave before I knock that stupid look off your face.”  


Tsukishima threw his hands up in surrender, moving around the two to walk past them, whispering into Suga’s ear with a smirk before continuing on.  


“See you around, Sugawara.”  


* * *

 

He tried to keep his composure as they walked silently back to their dorm, the air around them still tense despite the absence of the blonde. He was thinking. Thinking about all of the shit that had just happened and all of the shit that happened before, before he entered college, before he was able to escape. His mind was racing and he knew he should explain everything to Daichi, but he also knew it would be impossible without telling him. He had kept the secret from the other so long, there was no way he would let Tsukishima come in and fuck everything up.  


As they approached Daichi’s room, Sugawara turned to him, bowing his head slightly as he explained that he was going up to his room.  


“Are you sure? You don’t want to talk or anything?”  


Suga liked that about Daichi the most. The fact that he genuinely worried about everyone, never hesitating to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on if the other person needed it. He told Daichi no, that he was fine and would rather get some sleep, mumbling something about an early day tomorrow when he knew he didn’t have classes, and waved as the other boy walked into his room.  


 

 _This is for the best,_ he thought to himself.  


_I don’t want to lose him too._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will be happier!  
> Thank you all for the hits and kudos, especially since I'm a new writer.  
> A new chap up either today or tomorrow!


	6. Let's go to the beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another second, Hinata shook his head furiously like a dog after a bath, his face shifting from a look of sheer surprise to an obvious smirk. As cute as it may have been, Kageyama knew that face meant the ginger was up to no good.  
> “Well then, Kageyama Tobio, get ready to be amazed!”  
> He didn’t like where this was going.  
> “We’re going to take a trip to the greatest, most funnest, most awesome place on earth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you guys were expecting more DaiSuga drama, I felt more like some KageHina today!  
> Please enjoy~

Hinata had been coming into the shop a lot more frequently after the “shrimp chip” incident, as Kageyama liked to call it, showing up almost every day he was on duty. He only stayed for an hour or so, sometimes more when he came in with Tanaka, but Kageyama found himself constantly looking forward to the short time they spent together. They had yet to _officially_ exchange numbers (even though Kageyama already had Hinata’s), so their interactions occurred almost entirely while he was working.  


“It’s your summer break,” he said to the shorter boy on a day Hinata spent a particularly long time at the parlor, “don’t you have friends you should be hanging out with?”  


Hinata looked at him questioningly for a second before bursting out into laughter, leaving Kageyama confused and slightly annoyed.  


“What are you talking about,” the orange hair boy said, still trying to catch his breath, “I’m hanging out with you, aren’t I?”  


It took Kageyama about an hour to get his heart beat back to a normal pace.  
  
  


He wasn’t complaining, no he definitely wasn’t complaining, he just wanted _more._ Wanted to spend more time with the other, wanted to learn more about him–what made him laugh, what made him cry, his likes and dislikes–wanted to be infinitely closer than they were. Kageyama wouldn’t admit that, though, to Hinata or to anyone really; he had a hard time as it was trying to hide his newfound fondness from Asahi.  
  


“A little eager to get to work today, aren’t we?”

That day, Kageyama had gotten ready just a little earlier than usual, checking himself in the mirror leaning against the wall of their tiny entranceway, and Asahi had caught on pretty quickly.

“Um, y-yeah, I mean–” Kageyama stuttered through his excuse, trying to will his face not to turn red, “Sugawara is going to, uh, be there so I want to m-make sure–”

“Alright, I get it, just go already.”

 

On this particular day, though, Hinata was leaning over the counter, cone in hand, blabbering about some high school memory he had of the summer break of his second year.  


"The beach is definitely the best. Don't you love the fuzzy feeling of the sand between your toes?"  


Kageyama, who was finishing up counting the money in the register, shrugged in response.  


"Not sure, I've never been to the beach before."  


Expecting the other to say something, he looked up from what he was doing to see Hinata’s eyes and mouth wide open, as if Kageyama had just given him the worst news he’s ever heard.  


“W-what?” Kageyama was starting to fidget under the other boy’s unmoving stare, a slight blush creeping up to the tip of his ears, “Is it really that weird?”  


After another second, Hinata shook his head furiously like a dog after a bath, his face shifting from a look of sheer surprise to an obvious smirk. As cute as it may have been, Kageyama knew that face meant the ginger was up to no good.  


“Well then, Kageyama Tobio, get ready to be amazed!”  


He didn’t like where this was going.  


“We’re going to take a trip to _the_ greatest, most funnest, most awesome place on earth.”  


* * *

Kageyama thinks it’s eerily coincidental that Hinata had brought up the beach on the exact day he only had a half shift, but he was too excited and scared to care. He was beyond ecstatic at the prospect of spending even more time with Hinata, glad that they would finally be together somewhere that wasn’t the confines of his workplace, and a part of him wanted to thank every god out there for this golden opportunity. On the other hand, though, he was deathly afraid. There was a reason, of course, that he hadn’t gone to the beach before, and he definitely didn’t want Hinata finding that reason out; one, because it was sort of stupid and silly and even he knew he was being unreasonable, and two, because being with the other boy would only make reason one even worse.  


But, after a short stop to Hinata’s apartment for some swimming trunks (“You can borrow mine!” the shorter boy had said, “I have some really big ones I’ve never worn before!”) and other beach gear, they finally arrived at their destination.  


They changed in the public restroom, Kageyama coming out almost as fully clothed as he had entered with just swimming trunks replacing his shorts. He finished changing first and used this opportunity to buy two popsicles from a nearby stand, absent mindedly chewing on one as he walked back over to the restroom. Just as he was approaching the small structure, Hinata came bounding out of the door, singing at the top of his lungs. Unlike Kageyama, the orange haired boy was sporting nothing but his trunks and a pair of blue flip flops, causing the taller one to almost choke on his ice cream.  


He was a lot more toned than Kageyama had imagined; he had a clearly defined stomach and chest, his back taut and arms sporting the beginnings of what could become impressive biceps. It’s not that Kageyama was disappointed at all, the complete opposite, actually, he just wasn’t expecting it. What he did expect, though, was the continuation of the soft, milky skin he found himself staring at when they were together, his entire body seemingly blemish free. Kageyama had to keep himself from just reaching out and touching it when the other boy ran up to meet him.  


“Is that one for me?” Hinata said, motioning to the package in Kageyama’s hand.  


He nodded, still slightly incapable of speech at the sight of the smaller boy, and handed the popsicle over to him. Hinata took it happily, ripping the packaging open as they walked across the sand over to a slightly less populous area a little further from the ocean. The ginger was right, Kageyama thought, the sand did feel surprisingly good underneath his bare feet even if it was a little hotter than he expected. It was therapeutic, almost, and combined with the soothing scent of the salt water, he wondered why he hadn’t come here sooner.  


Then he remembered, looking down at his nearly fully clothed body, and frowned. He couldn’t bear to have Hinata know what was hidden underneath his shirt, the reason why he hadn’t been to the beach or to the pool in over a decade. Hopefully he wouldn’t question Kageyama’s decision to keep most of his clothes on, but, after spending a while sitting on their towels talking, Kageyama’s luck ran out.  


“Let’s go swimming!” Hinata shouted, jumping up from his place on the ground and turning to face the other, expecting him to do the same.  


Kageyama didn’t move, trying desperately to look everywhere but at his companion, but desperately failing when all of that skin was just out there for him to gawk at. He told Hinata that he didn’t feel like it, that he had had a long day at work and wasn’t really in the mood to exert himself, but the glowing ball of energy just wasn’t having it. Ignoring Kageyama’s protests, he grabbed the taller boy’s arm, trying and failing to pull him over to the water, almost falling over in the process. Frustration was building in Kageyama’s stomach, bubbling and bubbling until he couldn’t hold it in any longer.  


“I said I don’t want to fucking go.”  


He realized he must have said that a lot louder than he intended to, some nearby beach goers shooting worried glances in their direction, and before Hinata had the chance to say anything Kageyama had already taken off in the direction of his house.  


His vision was getting cloudy, tears forming at the corner of his eyes either from embarrassment or humiliation or a combination of the two, but he didn’t stop running until he found himself in front of the ice cream shop. Sweat was running down his face and back, legs on fire from what could only have been classified as sprinting, the word _idiot_ repeating itself like a mantra in his head. He couldn’t believe he was being this stupid, that he had even agreed to go to the beach in the first place when he knew damn well what would happen; it wasn’t like this was the first time.  


The internal scolding he was giving himself must have drowned out his other senses, his mind not registering the sound of approaching footsteps until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Kageyama jumped at the touch, whipping around fast enough to almost hurt himself as he came face to face (well, almost) with the boy from which he had just used all his energy to escape. He looked concerned and sad almost, eyes large but downcast with the same frown Kageyama had only seen after the incident with Natsu. Luckily for the taller boy he had decided to throw his shirt on, eliminating one factor that would have made this conversation a million times worse, but it didn’t help in eliminating the awkwardness between them.  


“Uh,” Hinata was the first to break the silence, his hand clutching his other arm as he looked at the ground, “I know you probably never want to see me again but I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard to do something you obviously didn’t want to do and I’m a huge asshole and I’m sorry.”  


Kageyama looked at the other boy in disbelief: why was he apologizing? Kageyama was definitely the one at fault here for overreacting, Hinata had done absolutely nothing wrong. He had never been one for apologies, something about him not being able to express his emotions very well, but he knew he didn’t want to lose Hinata before he had even really gotten to know him so it was now or never, he thought.  


“It’s not your fault, like at all. It was just me overreacting and being stupid and you’re the first friend I’ve made in a long time so I really don’t want you to hate me and I just–” Kageyama pause, taking in a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”  


He looked at Hinata through his bangs, not wanting the other to see just how flushed he was from the whole thing, and was surprised to see a smile plastered on his face.  


“And here I thought you would banish me from the shop forever,” he said, giving Kageyama two hard but reassuring slaps on the back, “It’s all in the past now, right?”  


Kageyama looked back at Hinata, mesmerized by the way the afternoon sun reflected off of his hair, making him glow even more than usual.  


“Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for comments and kudos, it really means a lot to a crappy writer like me!  
> I promise next chapter will have more actual relationship developments, since it's been pretty fluffy so far on the KageHina end.  
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Texting shouldn't be this hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama wasn’t very keen on texting, or on communication in general, but any chance he had to talk to Hinata was a chance he definitely would not pass up. It started off pretty slowly, Hinata always being the one to initiate the conversation with a “hey, whats up?” or “you wouldn’t believe what happened to me today!” that usually led to an hour or so of back and forth before dying down. Then, Kageyama realized that the smaller boy had not visited his shop at all that day, or the day after, so on the third day of his absence, he decided it was his turn to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, thank you all so much for the comments and kudos, you guys really are too nice.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

They became a lot closer after that, even exchanging numbers at the end of the day. Kageyama’s fingers trembled as he input his own information into Hinata’s phone, hoping that the other wouldn’t recognize it and pin him as the idiot who called him and then hung up that one night. It was one of the few moments he appreciated how empty headed the Hinata was, the ginger having only smiled upon seeing Kageyama’s number across his phone screen.  
  


Kageyama wasn’t very keen on texting, or on communication in general, but any chance he had to talk to Hinata was a chance he definitely would not pass up. It started off pretty slowly, Hinata always being the one to initiate the conversation with a “hey, whats up?” or “you wouldn’t believe what happened to me today!” that usually led to an hour or so of back and forth before dying down. Then, Kageyama realized that the smaller boy had not visited his shop at all that day, or the day after, so on the third day of his absence, he decided it was his turn to start.

 

_To: Hinata_

_hey, i noticed you haven’t been coming to the shop lately. is everything ok?_

 

After about twenty minutes of writing and rewriting, he pressed send and tucked his phone into his pocket when a rather large group of teens walked in, initiating the start of the afternoon rush. The onslaught of customers last another two hours, Kageyama mentally thanking Sugawara for hiring another worker to help him out on weekends, and after another half an hour of clean up, he was walking out the door, bowing his head to his coworker before heading toward his apartment.  
  


It was then that he remembered the message he had sent out earlier, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone when he felt a buzz against his leg. He flipped the device open, the “New Message” notification sending shivers down his spine. Kageyama hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt in his message to Hinata, his palms suddenly clamming up, and with uncertain fingers he opened his mailbox.

 

_From: Hinata_

_oops, sorry for the late reply! i’m actually back at my hometown at the moment visiting family~ i should be back by wednesday_

 

He let out a sigh of relief, glad that the other hadn’t found what he said strange, until he realized the weight of Hinata’s words. Wouldn’t be back until Wednesday? That was another three whole days on top of the three he had already suffered without him. His heart sank into his stomach at the thought of so much time without seeing the smaller boy, without seeing his signature smile that took up his entire face or the look of pure bliss he had every single time he bit into an ice cream cone; he already missed it.

 

_To: Hinata_

_oh, alright. hope you’re having fun._

 

Kageyama shoved the phone angrily into his pocket as he opened the door to his apartment, surprised to see his roommate sitting on the couch with the television on. Asahi rarely watched television, his eyes over-sensitive to bright lights and screens, so when Kageyama walked over to sit next to him he wasn’t surprised at the book the older held in his hands.  
  


“You waste energy when you use the TV as background noise,” he said, not bothering to look at the other. All the windows in the rooms were already open to avoid using the air conditioner as much as possible, so having the TV on when you didn’t need it seemed like a step backward.  
  


“I like the noise while I read,” the brunette said, closing his book and taking off his glasses, “it makes me feel like I’m not alone.”  
  


Alone. The word stung. He was probably being too dramatic, no he was definitely being too dramatic, but he couldn’t help but feel forgotten, abandoned. He felt alone in every sense of the word, his dejectedness probably showing on his face because, not more than a second after he had thought it, Asahi let out a long sigh and turned his body to face him.  
  


“Alright, alright, tell me what’s wrong.”  
  


Kageyama looked at him angrily before pulling his arms and legs up to shield his face, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hide anything from his best friend. He was way too embarrassed to talk about it, but Asahi was going to get it out of him sooner or later so he might as well just let it all out now.  
  


“Well I made a new friend,” he said into his legs, still curled up in the fetal position, “but they left on a trip.”  
  


It felt good to get this off his chest, the weight slowly lifting from his shoulders as he unfurled himself, trying desperately not to look at the knowing smirk Asahi was sporting at the moment.  
  


“Which is fine, I mean I don’t want to stop him from doing what he wants, it’s just–I don’t know–he didn’t even tell me he was going somewhere. I thought he was hurt or hated me or something like that.”  
  


He was sitting normally now, looking down at his twiddling thumbs, and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding before he kept going.  
  


“I guess I just thought we were closer than that, you know?”  
  


The raven haired boy finally looked up at the other, annoyed but comforted by Asahi’s sad smile. There, it was all out in the open now, ready to be picked apart and used as blackmail and–  
  


“You should probably tell him.”  
  


Kageyama’s mind went blank at the thought. Tell him? Wouldn’t that be the worst possible thing to do? He'd already made a total ass of himself once, he wasn't sure he wanted to do that ever again.  
  


"I'm not saying throwing an all out confession at him-" Asahi throwing his hand up to stop Kageyama before he could protest, "wait, I'm not done!- I just mean you should tell him what you told me. I know communication isn't really your thing, but just trust me on this."  
  


Kageyama shrunk into the couch. He knew Asahi was probably right, since he's right about pretty much everything, but he was still nervous about any kind of confrontation with Hinata. Lost in his own head, he barely felt the hand on his back as Asahi left to his own room, waiting a few moments before pulling out his phone.

 

"New Message"

 

_From: Hinata_

_i am! i told natsu about you and she really can't wait to visit the shop again. how have you been?_

 

How has he been? He’s been freaking the fuck out over nothing for the past day, questioning himself and their friendship and everything, basically, all because Hinata couldn’t send him one goddamn text to tell him where he was and that they were still friends and out of no will of his own Kageyama typed and sent three words he never thought he would send in his entire goddamn life:

 

_To: Hinata_

_i miss you._

 

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger?? I'm sorry?!?!  
> I'll try and get the next chapter up asap, I swear.  
> Thanks again for reading <3


	8. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He spent the next few days in a daze, mind clouded by blonde hair and thick-rimmed glasses and memories of the past he thought he finally escaped. But slowly, the brunette’s gentle voice and unwavering smile brought him back to the present, to here and now, and they began to fall into their usual rhythm; back to endless sleepovers and study sessions, back to strolls across campus and breakfast at midnight–back to normal.

The run in with Tsukishima left an omnipresent air of awkwardness around the duo. The day after the incident had been painful, to say the least, Daichi trying to talk to Suga and Suga trying desperately to avoid Daichi. He spent the next few days in a daze, mind clouded by blonde hair and thick-rimmed glasses and memories of the past he thought he finally escaped. But slowly, the brunette’s gentle voice and unwavering smile brought him back to the present, to here and now, and they began to fall into their usual rhythm; back to endless sleepovers and study sessions, back to strolls across campus and breakfast at midnight–back to normal.  
  


Normal didn’t mean worry-free, at least not for Suga. The nightmares came back, the ones that woke him with a jolt in the middle of the night, sweat beading on his forehead and his arms, forcing him to splash his face with cold water before he could head back to bed. They were always the same, too: snippets of his life back in his third year of high school, scared and alone.  
  


In hindsight, he wondered why it had taken him so long to figure it all out; the pieces were all there. He felt nothing when the rest of his friends drooled over porn magazines littered with big boobs and curvy women, his eyes instead lingering just a second too long on the face of one of his friends, on veiny arms and muscular backs in the locker room. Suga even dated a few girls, all of them cute enough that he had said yes, but none of them lasting very long; he lost interest in them pretty quickly, especially when they got a little too handsy for his liking.  
  


It wasn’t until one night when he found himself with his hand in his pants, sticky and aching after watching two men on his tiny laptop screen that he realized he was gay. He was scared, obviously. At seventeen, he didn’t know what to do, who to turn to, or how to deal with the disgusting urges he was feeling.  
  


He told his best friend first. They had been together since the beginning of their high school careers after bonding over a mutual love for volleyball and were inseparable since. The other seemed understanding at first–quiet and awkward and confused, but understanding. Suga cried as he spoke, feeling the weight lifting off of his shoulders with every word that came out of his mouth. He was relieved, to say the least.  
  


It wasn’t long until the entire school found out. Soon, he couldn’t walk to the bathroom without hearing the word “faggot” thrown in his direction. Death threats and promises of rape if he didn’t watch his back littered the inside of his locker until he had no space to left for his shoes. Walking home meant constant glances over his shoulder, hand clutching nervously at the pepper spray in his pocket in case someone tried to jump him again, because the last time left his eye black for a week and the insults practically quadrupled.  
  


He had never missed a day of school in his entire life. That year his absences almost prevented his graduation.  
  


It wasn’t until he finally got out of that shithole that he got help, talked to people that actually wanted to listen to him. He went to support groups and school clubs and realized that no, he wasn’t disgusting, he was completely normal and deserved to be treated as such. His grades were stellar, he found himself a steady job, and made friends that he could trust; friends like Daichi.  
  


Granted, Daichi still didn’t know about him. It’s not that it was a secret really, it had just never come up before. Daichi asked before why Suga never dated, to which he replied saying something about schoolwork being his top priority (which was not technically a lie), and the topic never resurfaced.  
  


Now, years later, Suga was staying over at Daichi’s for the third time in the past four days, both of them with DS in hand because what better way to spend a Friday night than with your favorite pokemon?  
  


Suga’s legs hung off the end of the bed while the brunette sat on the ground, back pressed up against the cushion’s side. It was nearing three in the morning, many of the parties in the neighboring dorms having drawn to a close already, but neither of them seemed to care. They had talked and laughed and joked since they opened their devices more than four hours prior, almost a new record for the two of them, their eyelids refusing to droop despite the all nighter they pulled just two days ago. He felt safe; even if Tsukishima was here, he wasn’t going to let him fuck everything up, and now he had more self-esteem than anyone should have and friends that cared about him like family.  
  


He looked over at the other, took in the concentration evident in his furrowed brow and pursed lips, took in the veins that ran from his bicep down to his wrist and the way he curled into himself when he tried really hard, and realized that he was deeply and madly in love with Daichi. He wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of them enjoying each other’s silence, playing games and being the unadulterated, uncensored version of themselves.  
  


“Suga?”  
  


He didn’t realize that Daichi had been looking back at him worriedly, or that somewhere along the line tears had started falling from his eyes, but he couldn’t make himself stop. The tears started falling harder and faster and soon he was screaming into Daichi’s shoulder, letting himself go in the other’s arms. Eventually he calmed down, both of them wrapped into one another on the bed, Daichi having fallen asleep long before with his hand still pressing Suga’s face into his chest. He stared into the darkness.  
  
  


_I’m in love with you,_

_but you’ll never love me back._

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god I am so sorry this took so long to post  
> I don't even have a good excuse other than extreme writer's block  
> I swear the next chap will be up asap and hopefully this story will be done within the next 3-4 chapters!!  
> Thank you all so much for the bookmarks and kudos and comments! They mean so much to me ;~;


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